After returning from the first quarter of my whirlwind tour, I had an interesting conversation with my sister Arielle about the shadow of the single life.
In most of my programs and courses, there are many single women and men who are waiting, yearning, and hungry for love. They protest that they are doing everything. They say they've tried it all. But when I confront them and ask them about their actual plan, what they've studied, what they know about creating a partner; when I ask them about their vision boards or what their everyday life would look like with a partner; when I ask them what their needs are in a relationship, more often than not, I hear a half-answer. I hear the hunger of somebody trying to get a need met or I hear somebody who is attached to the ego ideal of what it would be like to be in love or to have a partner to soothe their loneliness and be their companion. None of that is wrong at all. Thank god we have unmet needs and have that longing, or many people would never even look.
I had the privilege of watching my sister Arielle, who at 44 years old made a plan and stayed committed to that plan each and every day. I watched her feng shui her house, continuallly work on her vision board, create a mandala of love. I watched her open her heart and take on forgiveness, letting go of the relationships that hadn't worked or caused mistrust inside of her. I witnessed what somebody who is fully committed does and is willing to do to open up to having a lover, a companion, a soulmate, a partner, and a spouse.
So the shadow of the single life is a deep resignation, a belief that says "It can't really happen for me" or "It won't happen to me." The shadow of the single life is the shadow of too many relationships gone bad. The shadow of the single life is made up of mistrust or not feeling worthy, maybe because of body image issues ("If only I lose ten pounds..." or "When I get in shape then I'll be loveable.") The shadow of the single life will continue to loom over those who are looking for love unless they make a plan, explore what keeps them single, and step into certainty about the possibility of love.
So for those of you who are ready to break free from the shadow, get out of the prison of the past, and open up to the lover of your life, I suggest that for a guide and teacher, you take it from someone who did it so beautifully and has created one of the most divine marriages I've ever witnessed in my life. Let Arielle share her secrets with you in her fabulous new Soulmate Kit. This "soulmate-in-a-box" kit is jam-packed with DVDs, CDs and her best-selling book The Soulmate Secret. When I asked Arielle recently, "Does The Soulmate Secret really work?" (which, of course, I already knew the answer to), she flooded me with one extraordinary story after another. One of those stories could be yours.
With love and blessings,
Debbie Ford
Monday, April 12, 2010
Tuesday, April 6, 2010
Am I Walking My Talk?
I love how the universe works. It always blows my mind, makes me laugh, challenges my assumptions and, when I'm listening, delivers me to the next greatest place. Here's my story.
As many of you know, I'm leading a monthly program called Creating A Life You Love which many of you are a part of. When I began the program two months ago, I made the commitment that I too would reinvent myself and go to the next level in each and every area of my life.
The first month, we worked on our relationship with God -- a breeze for me. I love to pray. I love to meditate. I love to find where I'm faithless and work to regain my faith.
Then for the month of March, we took on falling in love with our bodies. I was so excited! I'm always challenged because I'm an over-worker. Most days, I work 14 to 16 hours. I love it and I wouldn't have it any other way. But my dear, sweet, little body often cries for my attention. So here I was, the leader of the program, ready to have a breakthrough.
My body gave me the first signal right before I was going to get on a plane to hang out with some of my friends. It was 11 in the morning and I found myself laying in my bed -- lifeless. I had just led The Shadow Process and the BreakThrough program intensive. My body was saying, "Stop. Go to sleep. Do nothing." But being the trooper I am, after half an hour of rest, I ordered a burger and fries, and twenty minutes later, I was ready to board the plane. As I landed in San Francisco, I could feel my fatigue, but it wasn't until I came home three days later that I started to experience the consequences of overriding the message that my body was sending me. To make a long story short, I got sick and stayed that way for two weeks -- there's still a hint of it in my voice.
So what did I learn? I learned that no matter what, I must listen. I learned that there's nothing more valuable than my sweet little body. I learned that although I can wind myself up and make myself go, which I've done for many years, there's nothing more sacred, holy and valuable than listening to the whispers and the cries of my physical body. I've recommitted. And I've taken on weight training as a result of my son grabbing the flab under my arms. Oh, how mean but how proud I'll feel giving a little extra attention to my body. So ultimately the program has worked yet again. With just one week before we shift our focus to the topic of money, my breakthrough has come.
As I head off on the next adventure, a trip to Turkey and then to New York, I close my eyes and ask, "What does my body need to feel nourished and revitalized?" I realize that I need to get my blankets and the softest travel pillows I can find and then I need to curl up to re-read my very dear friend Scott Blum's book Summer's Path . I loved Waiting for Autumn and I love this prequel. My body is yearning to be filled with the stories, the subtle messages, the heart-opening words and the spiritual nourishment that all of Scott Blum's work offers.
Your body work for this week is to see what you need to do this weekend to have your body transformation. If you want to give yourself a big nourishing hug, read Summer's Path this weekend with me, my friends and my students. If your holy self is ready, you might even win a summer retreat at Canyon Ranch if you order the book this week.
With love and blessings,
Debbie Ford
As many of you know, I'm leading a monthly program called Creating A Life You Love which many of you are a part of. When I began the program two months ago, I made the commitment that I too would reinvent myself and go to the next level in each and every area of my life.
The first month, we worked on our relationship with God -- a breeze for me. I love to pray. I love to meditate. I love to find where I'm faithless and work to regain my faith.
Then for the month of March, we took on falling in love with our bodies. I was so excited! I'm always challenged because I'm an over-worker. Most days, I work 14 to 16 hours. I love it and I wouldn't have it any other way. But my dear, sweet, little body often cries for my attention. So here I was, the leader of the program, ready to have a breakthrough.
My body gave me the first signal right before I was going to get on a plane to hang out with some of my friends. It was 11 in the morning and I found myself laying in my bed -- lifeless. I had just led The Shadow Process and the BreakThrough program intensive. My body was saying, "Stop. Go to sleep. Do nothing." But being the trooper I am, after half an hour of rest, I ordered a burger and fries, and twenty minutes later, I was ready to board the plane. As I landed in San Francisco, I could feel my fatigue, but it wasn't until I came home three days later that I started to experience the consequences of overriding the message that my body was sending me. To make a long story short, I got sick and stayed that way for two weeks -- there's still a hint of it in my voice.
So what did I learn? I learned that no matter what, I must listen. I learned that there's nothing more valuable than my sweet little body. I learned that although I can wind myself up and make myself go, which I've done for many years, there's nothing more sacred, holy and valuable than listening to the whispers and the cries of my physical body. I've recommitted. And I've taken on weight training as a result of my son grabbing the flab under my arms. Oh, how mean but how proud I'll feel giving a little extra attention to my body. So ultimately the program has worked yet again. With just one week before we shift our focus to the topic of money, my breakthrough has come.
As I head off on the next adventure, a trip to Turkey and then to New York, I close my eyes and ask, "What does my body need to feel nourished and revitalized?" I realize that I need to get my blankets and the softest travel pillows I can find and then I need to curl up to re-read my very dear friend Scott Blum's book Summer's Path . I loved Waiting for Autumn and I love this prequel. My body is yearning to be filled with the stories, the subtle messages, the heart-opening words and the spiritual nourishment that all of Scott Blum's work offers.
Your body work for this week is to see what you need to do this weekend to have your body transformation. If you want to give yourself a big nourishing hug, read Summer's Path this weekend with me, my friends and my students. If your holy self is ready, you might even win a summer retreat at Canyon Ranch if you order the book this week.
With love and blessings,
Debbie Ford
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