Anything's Possible When There's No Unfinished Business

For nine years, I have been leading Shadow Process workshops and training programs around the world with amazing people. I've met thousands of people who picked up one of my books, came to one of my workshops, or enrolled in one of my training programs because there was some area of their lives where they wanted to have a massive breakthrough, a shift, a new opening, and a reinvention of a new future. What continually blows my mind is that they get it! They get it by claiming parts of themselves, cleaning up all areas of their life, and saying "I'm sorry, please forgive me, I forgive you." They get it by making integrity lists, cleaning out their closets, tying up loose ends, confronting their addictions or bad behaviors and then doing whatever is necessary to transcend it. They get it by finding the gifts of their past and the wisdom in their wounds. They are able to produce a future completely unlike their past.

I think I am so passionate about this capacity for transformation not only because it reveals the magnificence of our human design but because it is my own story as well -- the story of a girl who found herself loaded with drugs and limitations and with a not-so-promising future ahead of her. But through the process of transforming and growing, that girl came to understand that we are here for a greater reason, that you can't move on until you've cleaned up the past and worked on your unfinished business, and that until you do, life will seem like a repetitive loop of longing, wanting, aching, and hurting.

So, like every day, today is the day for a new future and a new possibility. I offer this to you with an open heart and the utter certainty that you can be more than you ever desired.

There's so much more to say about unfinished business. James Van Praagh, my very good friend and spiritual medium who is in my soon-to-be-released documentary The Shadow Effect, has written an amazing new book on the subject. He offers lessons for the living by sharing the personal regrets, misgivings, remorse, and, most important, the advice from beyond. In this moving book, he demonstrates why it's imperative that we continue to do this work. Read this book to get a new perspective on life and your relationships with yourself and others. 

With love and blessings,

Debbie Ford

 

p.s. Explore how you can create permanent and lasting change and transformation in your own life by coming to a special community call with my senior staff on Monday, May 25th at 5:30 PM Pacific. Dial into the global virtual classroom at 712-338-8000 code 5091#.

The Dark Truth About Our Pain

For the last few weeks, I have been on a radio tour for the release of the paperback edition of Why Good People Do Bad Things. In my interviews, I keep hearing the same questions. Why did you write this as your sixth book? Why is this important to understand? Why do we do bad things? Why do we continue to self-sabotage, making choices that leave us feeling bad about ourselves? It seems like everyone is fascinated but few truly want to chat about the answer -- the solution and the spiritual antidotes that promise spiritual healing and a new unimaginable future. Fear will always win out until we are truly ready for higher levels of understanding and root ourselves in that understanding. If you were listening to one of those radio interviews, this is what I would say once again -- this is the end of the book and the answer to how to stop being your own worst enemy.

The power we all yearn for is the Power of God. God is the only real power, the only real source of long term pleasure, happiness, joy and fulfillment. All other forms of happiness that come from outside of ourselves can be ripped away in a matter of moments. A child you love dies. A con artist gambles your money away and your hard-earned savings evaporate in days. You go in for what you believe to be a regular yearly examination and you find out that you have severe heart disease or cancer. Or you find out that the person you have given your heart to is cheating on you. The list goes on and on of what you or I will have to deal with in this lifetime.

So you ask, who can I trust? How can I stay safe? What do I do? The answer is simple and although it is often distorted in its delivery, it is timeless. The only true safety is in spiritual wisdom and divine connection. If you have a profound, real and tangible experience of the inner resource that has the power to lift you above the pain, suffering and drama of a human life, you will be delivered to the Holy Land, the land of milk and honey, the land of hope, peace and understanding, the place where you will find safety and protection -- the kind of safety that allows you to bust through old patterns, take gigantic risks and learn to love and trust again, the kind of safety that allows you to walk through life with a level of certainty that you were never and will never be alone.

Could today be the day to take back any power you have given to the outer world and recommit to hold, love, respect and nurture your inner world? Today is the day that you can love yourself up so much that you remember that the answers are within and with the power and the force of God, Spirit, love (or whatever you call it) at your side, you can and will make the right choices that will deliver you a life that you LOVE. Pray, chant, contemplate, read, shift, love, love some more and open the door to your holy heart -- it is here that you will find everything you have been waiting for.

This is the only real reason I wrote Why Good People Do Bad Things -- so everyone on the planet who reads my book will see how the split inside leaves us feeling isolated, out of control and resigned to our own negative shadow patterns. I wrote the book so people could uncover the war within themselves and rediscover the simple spiritual practices that can turn us into whole, thriving, impassioned human beings and into our own best friends.

With love and blessings,

Debbie Ford

The Dark Side of People Pleasers

After basking in the light for so many months while writing The 21-Day Consciousness Cleanse, I decided to dip back into the dark side to shed some light on one of the toughest masks that must get broken if we are to break free from the wounded ego's grip. In my last book, which has been released this month in paperback, I explore the masks that we wear that keep us from being authentic and standing in our power. For the next few weeks, I will share some of these masks so that you can explore some of the behaviors that might seem nice, good, even royal but that ultimately undermine our happiness and success. So buckle up because they are straight to the point, no holds barred and meant to pierce the denial that keeps us trapped in our human personas.

People Pleasers are one of my favorite types because, even though this behavior is often rooted in sheer selfishness, people pleasers are actually good down to their core, and their need to please others generally helps someone else. True People Pleasers are usually people who were wounded in adolescence -- shamed until their needs no longer seemed important to them -- and learned at a young age that to survive with the least amount of stress thrown at them, they should try with all their might to make others happy. People Pleasers are prey for the predator types and feel deeply ashamed that they are just not always worth the space they take up in the world. Their feelings of unworthiness, and the fear that they are nothing without someone else's love or approval, leave them with a driving need to prove their worth to others. People Pleasers are the ones with a warm smile on their face and the word prey stamped on their forehead. They are driven to capture your love by doing, overdoing, and then doing some more. They will give until there is nothing left of themselves and covertly feed off the one they are giving to in a less than healthy way. They may take the form of the love buyer, buying gifts and spending money that they don't have, in order to gain love. Their food is the adoration of others, and although they may look like they are giving, they are actually taking.

People Pleasers are always seeking the validation of others for all that they do. Unfortunately, their deep feelings of inadequacy rob them of actually hearing how important and appreciated they are to their receiver. When People Pleasers are acting from their emotional wounds, their self-sabotage comes from their inability to hear what another might truly want from them. Looking through their own filter of "How can I please you?" cuts them off from hearing, listening to, and being in touch with appropriate behavior, thereby cutting themselves off at the foot.

The shadow of People Pleasers is their deep shame that they are nothing without you. "You" is whomever they happen to be attached to at the moment, together with the deeds they are doing on "your" behalf to prove how necessary they are. Driven by feelings of uselessness and insignificance, it's the People Pleaser's challenge is to admit that they have been using the guise of giving as a way to feed their own sense of belonging and importance. By allowing themselves to feel the hidden emotions that they suppress through the act of giving, they begin to recognize how in need they are of their own charity. Once the People Pleaser surrenders to the fact that their job is not to please another, they can focus all of their attention and energy on the one person they do have the power to please: themselves.

If this mask fits you and you feel a bit angry, just take a few moments to breathe into the feelings. Allow yourself to search for and discover all the joy, energy and self-esteem that you have given away as a result of trying to please another. Make a commitment from this day forward to catch yourself when you are saying yes when you mean no and when you are giving even when you have nothing left. I assure you that you deserve better and that you will find true love, authentic love when you realize that you were born worthy and that nothing can take that away from you.

Finding Your Yellow Brick Road

I hope this finds your heart happy and your life plentiful.

In times of tumultuous change and emotional upheaval, all of us dive into the place of uncertainty, not knowing where we are going to land or what our future reality will be. We look for certainty but in the midst of heartbreaking conditions like a breakup, a divorce or even the loss of a career, we don't know where we'll end up by the time the storm blows over. Like the scene in The Wizard of Oz when Dorothy emerges from her house after the tornado, we might be asking, "Where am I?" And in the darkness of our smallest thoughts, we hear, " Toto, we're not in Kansas anymore." Shocked and feeling alone, we go on endless tailspins which keep leaving us with the same sad feelings. Dramatic change leaves us searching for solid ground and when we can't find any, the only option is to step into the sacred foundation of the Law of Acceptance.

In my book Spiritual Divorce, the first Spiritual Law of divorce and healing - The Law of Acceptance - states that everything is as it should be. Nothing occurs by accident and there are no coincidences. Breathe that in and read it over again. Everything is as it should be. Nothing occurs by accident and there are no coincidences. It goes on to say that we are always evolving whether we are aware of it or not and our lives are divinely designed for each one of us to get exactly what we need to support our own unique evolutionary process (even when we can't see it). I can promise you that this is a fact.

After years of coaching thousands of people to find the gift in their "negative" experiences, what continues to be the highest truth is this: our deepest pain leads us to our greatest purpose. When we embrace the Law of Acceptance, we open our eyes to new opportunities and new perspectives. Knowing that everything is as it should be makes the path in front of us much easier to recognize. When we are willing to get the support we need, give up the self we know, and reinvent ourselves in order to step into the next highest evolution of our soul's journey, we can, like Dorothy, have faith and follow the yellow brick road. Even though we are not in Kansas anymore we will arrive at the perfect place for our next great adventure to unfold where we will find more love, more success and more happiness than we ever imagined possible.

With love and blessings,

Debbie Ford

A Love Potion

Last week, after having a large number of guests come through my home, I realized that I was on to something special. Unbeknownst to me, I had concocted a world-class Love Potion. It happened innocently enough after making my son Beau his morning smoothie. I couldn't bear the thought of tossing the leftover drink down the drain once again so I decided that I would use the remainder as the base for the green drink that everyone was supporting me in having more of. So I added in all the healthy ingredients that I was encouraged to consume and voila, I had a drink that was not only delicious but healthy as well. So for the last few months, I have whipped up all the special greens along with the remains of what I call the Beau shake and it has become my newfound Love Potion -- the green drink of all green drinks.

Here is my soulful Love Potion recipe for a glorious Spring:

Chocolate Soy Dream

Equal amount of Vanilla Rice Dream

Ripe bananas (or frozen bananas if you like your shake cold)

1 scoop of organic fresh or frozen berries

4 heaping teaspoons of organic cacao nibs (I use David Wolfe's cacao nibs. Cacao is supposed to be one of the healthiest foods on the planet.)

1 scoop of chocolate protein powder (I like chocolate. You can use any kind you like.)

1 big heaping handful of fresh spinach (It doesn't seem like a likely partner, but you've got to get your greens in.)

1 big heaping scoop of Vitamineral Green (Be careful not to put too much of this in. You can ruin the whole thing and make it taste too green.)

Some organic shelled hemp seed (Hemp seeds are a great source of protein and Omega-3s. The girls at VitaLife and my friend Cheryl Richardson, another queen of green drink, swear by it.)

Some good water

Blend the ingredients for a minute. And voila, you have health and happiness in a glass. If you're looking for more love, more passion and more inner and outer strength, this is a worthy recipe.

With love and blessings,

Debbie Ford

 

p.s. Do not drink the Love Potion at night unless you want to be up all night.

A Message of Light

"Light! More light!" howled Goethe before he died.

Dear Loved Ones,

You have been called to be who you are -- the whole luminous light. No one can dim your light when you are fully present to the depth and breadth of it. No one can say no to a light so bright. No one can deny who you are unless you are, in some way, minimizing the power and the force of your divine substance.

Don't go to sleep now for you have been awakened. Don't shut your eyes or you will put out the light. Stay awake to the power and force that guides and protects your divine essence.

Look for the light. Look for it in everything. Look for it in yourself, in your children, in your job, and in your dreams. Look for it in the food you eat and in the people you surround yourself with. Look for it in the music you listen to and in the words that you read. Look for it in your communication and in your heart.

Find the light of God in your past, in your struggles, and in your missed opportunities. Find it right now wherever you are and whomever you're with. For until you can find the light, there will be darkness -- the very darkness that you have given the power to put out your light.

Sending you love and light,

Debbie Ford

Your Evolutionary Self

I woke up this morning thinking about how it is our destiny to manifest the glory of G-d and why most of us won't do it today. It's so much simpler than we might think. It takes tapping into that inner resource that resides within and being committed to our evolution. It takes holding the collective heart in our awareness each and every day, getting out of our heads and opening our hearts. Ultimately, it takes being willing to reinvent ourselves and allowing ourselves to be surprised by who we can be.

So I ask you, How can you be your evolutionary self today?

How will you embody the beingness of the holiest power in the universe?

How can your behavior reflect back the divine to someone else today?

If you were holding evolution in your hands, what would you manifest?

If you knew that God, Source, the Divine, Jesus, Buddha, Hashem, and Mohammed all have your back, what risks would you take?

Today is the day to embody your holiest self -- your evolutionary self. Take it on as your 48-hour spiritual practice. 

Now is the time. The world needs you. I need you. And our future generations need you.

With love and blessings,

Debbie Ford