Are You Suffering From Low Self-Esteem?

I just got back from leading The Shadow Process workshop in Florida and I've been leading The Shadow Effect Online Workshop for the last two weeks. When I'm working with people, I'm always shocked by how low everybody's self esteem is, even people with great lives who feel like they have a lot and have done well. Still they suffer from these bad feelings which tell them that somehow they're not good enough.

So how do we raise our self-esteem? There is only one way -- to really learn the lessons and see how we can use our inadequacies and our perceived inadequacies to thrive. When we expose the lessons and the wisdom in our darkest shame, the world will never be the same. In Why Good People Do Bad Things, I wrote about how I'm always blown by looking at my own life and my own journey from darkness into light. I wanted to share this excerpt from the book with you.

We are born in the image of our divine creator, pure and innocent, and then the human experience (i.e., the split) begins. Our human experiences blind us from seeing the perfection in the imperfection and from mining for the gold that eagerly awaits our discovery. What if today you realized that it is not only your good self that must be loved but your wounded self as well? What if you knew for certain that it is your suffering and your pain that can lead you to living a life of goodness, virtue, and self-respect? I am here to tell you that it is the very thing that you despise and don't want to be that can help you become the person you always wanted to be.

It was my weakness and suffering from addiction that brought me to my knees and opened me to greater realities. Arrogance is what made me believe I knew more than most people, and it was ignorance that made me get down on my knees every night for years and beg God for spiritual wisdom and new ways to integrate my emotional pain. My fear of being called lazy gives me my drive. It is my vanity that dresses me in the morning and gets me to work out even when I'm tired. My fear of being a negligent mother makes sure that I go to all the flag football games (even when I'm busy) and drive my son to school (even when I'm tired and he could take the bus). It is my greed and love for fine things that drive me to work when others are out partying, and it is my denial of the evil and angry judgments of others that allows me to stand in front of group after group and tout my message -- to heal the split between the two forces that exist within each of us. And it is my depressive nature that birthed the Pollyanna in me that relentlessly tries to transform the untransformable and never gives up hope on the hopeless.

My feelings of inadequacy have me wake up in the morning and ask what I can do to make my world a better place. My need to matter, to be all used up when I die, was birthed out of the fear that I, Deborah Sue Ford, would die unnoticed, that I would be nothing more than a middle-class Jewish girl from Hollywood, Florida.

So I invite you to put away your judgments, lay down the boxing gloves that keep you fighting, and surrender to the love you are looking for. That love lives inside you. When properly dispensed, it will heal your greatest sorrow and wipe away your regrets. It will soothe your soul and nurture your aching heart. It will shine its light where there is darkness and lead you out of the darkness and into the light -- the light of love -- where the collective heart awaits your return.

Your Weekly Shadow Work

(1) Read Chapter 4 of Why Good People Do Bad Things which I'm making available for free on my website.

(2) After reading the chapter, spend at least 20 minutes journaling about what you learned and what resonated with you.

(3) Identify a quality about youself, an experience from your past or a circumstance in your life right now that you've been judging as bad or wrong. Begin to explore the gift or the wisdom that it brings you.

I promise you that once you see the patterns that are driving your behavior, if you are willing to learn the lessons that your life is delivering to you and find the gold that your darkness holds, you will finally be equipped and inspired to let go of the past and live an authentic life, a life you've only fantasized about -- a "someday" "one day" life.

With love and blessings,

Debbie Ford

Are You Trapped By Your Own Rhetoric?

Does this sound familiar? "It's all good." "I'll just think a good thought." "I'm better than I was last year." "Everything is as it should be." "It will happen next year." "It's all okay." "It's all their fault anyway."

The founder of Jungian psychology, Carl Jung, wrote, "One does not become enlightened by imagining figures of light but by making the darkness conscious." Now why would Carl Jung, one the greatest psychologists of our time, say that? Why would he want us to explore our shame, our guilt, our fear, our heartache, our envy, our incompetence, and our critical and insecure selves? Why is it that we can't just say affirmations, "imagine figures of light" and get to the place where we feel fulfilled, happy and content? I will assert it is because the gold really is hidden in our darkness. This is not just a feel-good platitude -- this is the truth. Shadow work isn't a spectator sport but an in-the-game, on-the-field, I'm-going-to-win-my-greatest-life-now kind of sport.

With the new year quickly approaching, you get to choose today. Are you going to go into 2010 with the same fears, insecurities, addictions, regrets, resentments and guilt that you carried into this year? Now is the time to use your critical self to move you forward and do some critical thinking to answer these three questions.

1. Is there something that you want that you've been wanting for over two years?

2. Is there something that you chronically complain about but yet you haven't been able to change it?

3. Are you waiting for someone to come save you or are you 100% accountable for living a phenomenal life?

If you answered yes to these, you're probably waiting but guess what? Nobody's coming -- nobody's coming to save you because they wouldn't want to rob you of the opportunity to save yourself. As my friend Brent BecVar describes in The Shadow Effect, one day you realize you're like a drowning person with someone holding your head under water. At some point, you realize that, if you want to live, you have to be the one that fights your way back to the surface. Are you ready to save yourself? Are you ready to truly live? Let me let you in on a little secret:

One way out of the trap of your own rhetoric is to join me in a one-time, exclusive Hay House Radio online workshop. I promise that if you spend eight weeks with me exploring The Shadow Effect, you will be freed from the prison of your own imaginary figures of light and empowered to win your greatest life.

With love and a not-so-gentle nudge,

Debbie Ford

My Birthday Wish

It's two days before my birthday and everyone is asking me, "What do you want, Debbie?" To tell you the truth, most of the gifts people give me are nice but since my memory is not that great and I already have most of what I want, the question has gotten tougher and tougher to answer - until last night. I spent the day yesterday praying and meditating at Yom Yippur services. Those hours gave me a lot of time to think about what is truly important to me at this time of my life. I've really lived such an incredible life and I feel full. I feel like I have made my creative dreams happen. I have a fantastic family and friends who I love and who love me. I have an incredible staff and team working alongside me and I have the most inspiring group of talented coaches and community members that anyone could ask for. So what's left?

Besides a month floating in the crystal clear blue waters, the only wish I have for this year is for every single person who reads my newsletter to read my new book. I know many of you have and I thank you for all of your heart-opening appreciation. You've already made it #1 on Amazon in categories like Self-Help Personal Transformation, New Age Mental & Spiritual Healing, and Spirituality Personal Transformation.

So here is what I am asking you to do for my birthday and what I am willing to do if you will do this for me. Buy a copy of The 21-Day Consciousness Cleanse by midnight on October 1st (my birthday). If you don't learn to lift your consciousness or if you don't get joy or love or insight or deep comfort or spiritual nourishment or an inspiring vision for the rest of your life by the time you are done reading the book, I will write you a personal check to refund you the price of your book. If it doesn't lift you out of the level of consciousness you are in now and plant you in a place of hope, faith and power, you can mail in your receipt in the next 30 days and I will give you your money back or trade you for another one of my products. This is how much faith I have in this book. And I am so committed that you read the book and experience life after the Consciousness Cleanse that I am willing to take this risk which, by the way, is Day 12 of the cleanse -- The Power of Risk.

For me to have a birthday beyond my wildest dreams, I wish for you to open your hearts a little wider, tap into the priceless resource that resides inside, and step into the next greatest evolution of yourself. The wisdom and the processes in this book have freed me from addiction, grief, loss, insecurity, procrastination, and a plethora of other issues and I promise you that they will do the same for you.

Thank you for supporting me and trusting me.

With love and blessings,

Debbie Ford

Are You Scared to Come Alive?

I just arrived home after a magnificent week on tour doing screenings of The Shadow Effect movie and lecturing on my new book The 21-Day Consciousness Cleanse. As I was reflecting on all the extraordinary people I met, one woman's story stuck in my mind. She came up to me with tears in her eyes telling me how much she loved me and loved my work and how she's read every newsletter that I've ever written for the last nine years. I was so struck by her. Her tears were not just tears of joy. They were tears of deep sadness as she told me about her best friend whom she had turned on to my work five years ago who is now living the life of her dreams in a new career, having shed 30 or 40 pounds, and in a recent marriage. She told me that her friend had come and done The Shadow Process Workshop and then had gone through my trainings. She talked about how she envies her friend's growth and wishes she too could have grown that much. So I asked her the obvious question. Why hadn't she come to The Shadow Process or done one of my trainings? With these little puppy-dog eyes, she said, "Because I'm too scared." At first I was shocked but then I felt deep compassion for her. I never really think that people don't come to do The Shadow Process or one of my trainings because they're scared. in that moment, I realized that is true for many. I felt the need to press her so I asked her, "Aren't you scared of having another five years go by and watching your best friend grow and evolve while you stay stuck where you are?" She began sobbing into tears as she realized that this indeed was her greatest fear.

I share this story with you realizing that many of you are scared. But that is just the trick of the ego. It's the mechanism that keeps you stuck in the past and repeating the same monotonous self-defeating patterns over and over again. It's the voice of our wounds, of our heartache and of our deep resignation and hopelessness that it won't work for us or that we can't do it.

It makes me want to cry because I know that if that voice wins, you will go to your grave never having lived your full potential and shared your gift with the world. This young woman deserves it. And you deserve it. We need you. We need your greatness. We need your unique perspective. We need your special gifts. And confronting your shadow is the fastest and easiest way to reclaim your power, and step into the person your soul longs to be. So if you're thinking about doing one of my programs or really any program with a therapist, Weight Watchers, a 12-step group, etc., and you feel scared, just reach out, grab someone's hand and allow them to support you in moving toward your evolutionary edge. Don't let your fear win. Love it. Hug it. Understand that it's a 3-year-old, a 5-year-old, a 10-year-old stuck inside of you. And trust the part of you that wants to grow because you will never be happy and fulfilled until you do.

Your Weekly Shadow Work

(1) Take a few minutes and think about your future. And when you feel quiet, ask yourself this question. Are you more scared to stay the same or to do the work to reinvent yourself?

(2) Choose to come alive. Enroll in something this week. Come to The Shadow Process, train to become one of our amazing coaches, participate in The Shadow Effect Interactive online workshop with Hay House, hire one of my amazing coaches, go back to school. Do something that will stretch you, anything that's been calling to you.

Your time is now.

With love and respect,

Debbie Ford

The Gift of Desire

Desire is the spark that ignites the flame of your soul and illuminates your innate creativity, imagination, and vision. It is the impulse that gives you the ambition and the energy to share your unique talents with the world. Your soul's desires are with you at birth like a hidden treasure chest of possibilities for you to discover as you grow and evolve into the person you were meant to be. Yet before you can harness this powerful force, you must give voice to what you long for in the deepest place in your heart. You may be one of the many who have stopped letting yourself feel the ache of your own desires - either because you are ashamed that some of your desires are self-serving or because you're afraid of the disappointment and hurt you might feel if you don't get what you ask for. But unless you embrace the desires of your heart, you are left empty, estranged from the passion of your soul.

On this day - the first day of this life-altering process - you will summon one of the most powerful agents of change in the universe: desire. In its purest form, desire drives you to want something so badly that you are willing to release your outdated behaviors and beliefs in order to manifest it. Desire forces you to grow, evolve, and move closer to your highest expression. Beneath the surface of your ego's insatiable cravings, your authentic desires wait patiently for you to acknowledge and claim them. Gently but persistently they are nudging you to go deeper, to fi nd greater meaning, and to step into a self you have never met before. Desire is your most primal, inborn motivator to become fully expressed, inspired, and passionate and to fulfi ll your soul's mission on earth. It is one of your most powerful friends and guides. 

CLEANSING RITUAL

Make a list of all your desires-both those things that you want to achieve in the outer world and those that you long to feel inside. Do you want more self-confi dence, more love, a clearer sense of purpose, greater peace of mind? If so, write it down. Do you desire more money, more friends, a soul mate, a child, or a new career? If so, write it down. This is the time to list all of your desires without censoring yourself. Be honest. Be bold. 

SOUL FOOD

My soul's desire is the voice of God. 

With love and blessings,

Debbie Ford

Igniting Your Soul's Fire

Within you there exists a sacred flame that is the keeper of your vitality and the guardian of your soul's life force. This flame has magical powers that can lift you out of the most difficult times and into the soft loving arms of your holiest self. Your internal flame has the power to digest what is no longer needed and to ward off pathogens, whether in the mind, the body, or the spirit. 

A flame that is well nourished and thriving holds all the power of a sea of angels, lifting you above the seductive temptations of the past and securing you in the wisdom and guidance of your divine source. But, like any fire, your internal flame must be looked after and protected. To keep it burning brightly, you must honor and care for it, listen to it, tend to it, and nourish it. You are the keeper of your soul's flame, and it is your job to do whatever is necessary to protect it from weakening. Without this level of attention and awareness, you will more than likely continue to repeat the patterns of the past, recycle the same life-draining thoughts and behaviors, and ultimately accumulate more toxicity in your mind.

To clear your consciousness so that the light of a new day can arise, you must become keenly present to the condition of your internal world and the strength of the fire within your soul. 

Your Weekly Nourshment 

(1) Write down seven choices you can make this week to strengthen your internal flame. 

(2) What are you willing to give up this week to ensure that you are strong and liberated by the end of this week? 

(3) What sweet blessings could you whisper to yourself each night to ignite the fire in your soul? 

With love and respect,

Debbie Ford

Are You Listening?

What will it take to make you listen to the voice of your own soul? To make you tune into your wants and needs? How many sleepless nights must you stay awake to unfold the great mystery from within?

There is a small whisper of a voice that is wanting and needing to be listened to. There is a voice of love and compassion that wants to sing out loud ~ without suppression. It is time for the voice to be heard, to be listened to, to be honored and acknowledged as the voice of your own soul. Now is the time that you must stop tricking yourself into believing that you are the one in total control of your life when, in reality, there is a wounded and hurt part of you that is screaming to be let out, that is tired of you marching to the same drummer. Maybe you're aware of this small voice that shouts out in anger as it can no longer tolerate living a life of business as usual.

So stop it. Stop it now. Don't head to the same old nonsense. Try being sick of it because, believe me, that part of you is probably sick of you and some of the repetitive lies and stories that you continue to swim in each day. You might ask, How do I swim in them each day? You wake up and say "I am not going to eat so much, spend so much, procrastinate so much, or tolerate the suppression." You must allow your soul and the highest aspect of yourself to take control of your life. Tough love is what we're calling on here. When you are tempted to follow the path of your wounded self, you must say, "Stop it! I can't listen to your nonsense one more day." Remember, you're the parent now.

Now is the time to get out of the pool of the past. Now is the time for change, to wake up and smell the rose scent of a greater reality. Now is the time to give yourself permission to decipher the language of your higher calling. You are loved, you are cared for, you are important and you have a special purpose here on earth. Now is the time to confront the shadows that keep you behind the prison walls. Set yourself free. You have the key. Now open the door. 

Your Weekly Shadow Work

(1) Make a list of all the places you're tolerating mediocrity and can't take it anymore.

(2) Spend five minutes in the morning and five minutes in the evening calling forth and listening to the voice of your own soul.

(3) Study, train, read, watch The Shadow Effect :-) and be open to thoughts and ideas that you've never had before. Trust your instincts, take a risk and make high choices. 

With love and blessings,

Debbie Ford